1 year of MAWWIAGE!
Marriage is work.
I don’t mean that in a negative light. Life is about purpose and working towards a greater goal - better yourself and the world. Life isn’t about finding happiness and discovering all the universe's secrets. That path is filled with suffering.
Life is about improving yourself so that when you face god, you can say, “I did my part, I did my best, I lived life presently and to the fullest.”
Marriage is not easy, but it is gratifying.
Having sex and falling in love is an easy process. ‘Love at first sight’ is a terrible idea. There is no love at first sight. You build love. You build a relationship. You build a marriage and a family legacy.
How do you start that process?
Well, I wanted a wife that:
is kind
is athletic and loves to adventure
is someone I felt amazing to be around
is someone who could handle hard times
Don’t be in a rush to find that person for you. Be patient. You also need to be in a place where you don’t ‘need’ anyone to fill that void. Then, out of nowhere, you walk into a bar and find a girl or guy that shakes your world when you are not expecting it.
You should expect to be a continuous learner - a thirst for knowledge. Marriage teaches you a plethora of things.
After celebrating 1 year together, a friend asked for advice about building a solid marriage.
I shared a quote:
“The greatest gift we can offer another person is to allow them to be who they are and not what we want them to be."
You fell in love with them, so let them just be them.
Also:
assume and look for the best in each other
actively share your emotions and actively listen
solid communication = solid foundation // slow your problems and conversations down and approach them in a calm, loving, forward-focused manner
live, learn, grow together
adventure, stay active, and try new things together
make decisions TOGETHER. “What is best for us?” not “What is best for me?” // It takes a lot of ego-killing to get to this point
Bettering yourself, getting married, and starting a family are all ego killers. Killing the ego brings you to calmer waters inside yourself, contentment with the world, and closer to god. Killing the ego allows for more love in your life.
Letting go, releasing anger - another chisel on the sculpture to becoming the man you want to be.
If you are thinking about becoming a married man (or woman) in the not-so-distant future - get married!
Wedding week was the best week of my life. There was a lot of stress leading up to it (stress makes diamonds……but hire a full-time wedding planner. Seriously, it is worth the money). When the week comes, cherish EVERY SINGLE MOMENT you get with each person. It is like being alive at your own funeral. When a friend, family member, or anyone says, “Great to see you! I will let you go now since you are so busy!”
Say, “No! Someone will pull us away at some point, so don’t leave. Talk to me as long as possible. How is life? How are you?”
Those moments add up to a fuller heart.
When the first dance, honeymoon, and hangover are over, it is time to take a deep breath. Create a marriage mission statement.
Ours - We live life in a forward, loving, patient motion.
You won’t be perfect. But life isn’t about perfecting. There is no meaning to life, which is funny enough; it gives it meaning. It means you get to shape your reality. It means you get to work on what you want to work on.
I want to work on myself, my Marriage, and my family legacy.
Marriage is not easy but so worth the adventure.
Get to work,
-Molesy
_______
P.S. Anytime I hear the word Marriage, the priest from The Princess Bride movie pops into my head, haha! MAWWIAGE!